15 Remarks to Avoid When Speaking to a Grieving Dog Owner

Losing a dog feels like losing a piece of your heart. The bond between a person and their dog is incredibly special. And during such a sensitive time, words meant to comfort can sometimes unintentionally cause more pain. Here are 15 things you should never say to someone in this situation, along with better alternatives to show your support and empathy.

“It was just a dog.”

This can be really hurtful. To them, that dog was an important family member, not “just a dog.” Show you care by saying, “I know how much they meant to you.” Recognize that their grief is real and significant, and offer a comforting presence.

“You can always get another one.”

Even though getting a new dog might seem like a quick fix, it’s important to understand that each dog is unique and irreplaceable. Share a happy memory of their dog to show you understand their special bond. Let them know that their pet was one of a kind and that it’s okay to mourn their loss.

“At least they’re not suffering anymore.”

While meant to comfort, this can feel like you’re brushing off their pain. A heartfelt “I’m so sorry for your loss” is often more comforting. Allow them to express their feelings freely, recognize how deeply they are hurting, and listen without judgment to show that you truly care.

“You did the right thing.”

Although it’s true, it might feel like added pressure. Saying, “I’m here for you,” can be more comforting. Let them know their feelings are justified. Reassure them that they made a compassionate choice and that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions.

“I told you this would happen eventually.”

This can come across as very insensitive. Try offering a comforting word. You might say, “I’m really sorry you’re facing this.” This shows you care and are there for them. A kind word and a supportive presence can mean a lot during such a tough time.

“Time heals all wounds.”

Grief is a personal process that doesn’t stick to a set timeline. Give ongoing support and let them know it’s okay to grieve for as long as they need. Remind them that healing takes time and that you’re there for them every step of the way.

“I know how you feel.”

Even if you’ve been through it, everyone’s grief is different. Each person experiences loss in their own way, and comparing your pain to theirs can feel dismissive. You can say, “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.” This approach respects their experience, shows that their pain is personal, and validates their feelings without making assumptions.

“It was for the best.”

Though the decision to euthanize a pet can be a compassionate choice, telling someone it was “for the best” might not be comforting and can come off as insensitive. Acknowledge their pain and simply say, “I’m here for you.” Sometimes, just being there is enough. Let them know that their feelings are acceptable.

“You should get over it.”

Grief is personal and unique to each individual. Offer patience and understanding. Encourage them to take their time and remind them it’s okay to feel sad. Let them know that their emotions are genuine and that you’re there to support them.

 “It’s just part of life.”

Though it’s true, this can feel like you’re minimizing their pain. Try to understand their grief and offer your support. Life’s realities don’t make the pain any less real, so it’s important to validate their feelings and be there for them.

“They’re in a better place now.”

This can be tricky depending on beliefs. Stick to expressing your sympathy and support without making assumptions. Focus on offering comfort and understanding, and avoid making statements that might not align with their personal views. Empathy goes a long way in respecting their perspective.

“You should be happy they’re not in pain.”

This can feel like you’re dismissing their grief. Try saying, “I know this is really tough, and it’s okay to feel sad.” This shows you understand their pain and that it’s normal to miss their pet. Let them know it’s alright to feel heartbroken, even if their pet is no longer suffering.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Guilt is a common feeling when someone has to put down their dog, but it’s important to remind them that they made the best decision for their pet. You could say, “You did everything you could to give them a good life, and this decision was an act of love.” Let them know that it’s okay to have a range of emotions.

“I never understood why people get so attached to animals.”

This comment can be dismissive of their emotional connection with their pet. Even if you don’t share the same bond with animals, it’s important to respect their feelings. Try to be open-minded and understand that their attachment to their pet is both acceptable and deeply meaningful.

“You’re being too emotional about this.”

Everyone grieves differently. Telling someone they’re overreacting can be invalidating and add to their distress. All you have to do is offer a shoulder to cry on. Emotions are a natural part of the grieving process, and it’s important to let them express their sorrow without judgment.